Purely therapeutic purposes

Purely therapeutic purposes

I don't know if it's new news to anyone that we have been trying for awhile to have
another baby. We are not trying for 20 more, just one more. It has been a very hard/trying experience. We have been able to have eight beautiful children without any problem. And I am even more grateful now. I never imagined having just one more baby would be so hard being that it hasn't been hard until now. This is our fourth miscarriage. I can't seem to get past the first trimester. The longest three x 4 months of my life. I will say (and I'm not proud) that the first 3 I didn't learn a whole lot. I did feel like I learned to have more compassion for others who lost or miscarried.
But I mostly just felt anger towards Heavenly Father and didn't understand why He would allow this to happen.--- This fourth one was different. I really tried to learn what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn. I believe that He will teach you if you are teachable (humble, willing, patient, calm, prayerful). I learned that I have to have faith in His plan. That he knows what is best. I have to trust him. The more I trust Him the more that eventually He will trust me. (I'm not perfect in this and it's not always easy). He will help us. That didn't mean I would get a baby. I also learned that he loves us so much and doesn't want us to be sad. I have had moments of peace and comfort through this. I felt blessed while going through this in different ways (talks I was able to read, scriptures, blessings, prayers and other personal blessings. (A great comfort to me: General Conference Oct. 2010 Henry B. Eyring "Trust in God, Then Go and Do". Read it. You'll love it!) I also learned the word PATIENCE!!!! Over and over and over again.(Three months, one long day at a time, watching and waiting) I'm not good at this. I am trying though.---Scriptures have been a huge comfort to me. I'm reading in my personal study The Old Testament. Abram and Sarai did as Heavenly Father asked and were blessed. (Joseph Smith-Whatever God requires is right no matter what it is, although we may not see the reason there of until long after the event transpires.) In Sunday School we are studying the New Testament where Mary the mother of Jesus did as Heavenly Father asked. It wasn't easy I'm sure. They trusted Heavenly Father. There are many more examples I'm sure. These are just the ones I've thought and read of recently.

Poem

My life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow,
and I, in foolish pride,
forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly,
shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why.
The dark threads a are as needful
in the Weaver's skillful hand,
As threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares,
nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice to Him.

Author Unknown

I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I know that as I follow and trust in His plan that I will be happy. And hopefully He will learn to trust me. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers and that we should figure out how he answers us. I know that when I'm calm, read my scriptures, pray with sincerity, and ponder that He answers me. I'm grateful for this knowledge.

I know my house is sometimes chaotic. And I know sometimes not perfectly clean. But one thing I know. I know that I love being a mom and all that comes with it. I'm thankful for this test to help remind me of how truly blessed I really am. Thanks for reading. I hope it wasn't too painful:).

"The first commandment to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or cancelled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on the earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says 'Lo, children an heritage of the Lord:...Happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them....('Ps 127:3,5) We believe God is glorified with having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will that God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness" Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report April 1969, 12).

January

Wow! Time flies when your.....you name it....busy, stressed, having fun, working, playing, etc...

Time flies either way.

We have been busy. There is always a lot going on. I have contemplated not blogging anymore. While I do enjoy it being a somewhat family journal of our comings and goings and it is fun to look back over and make a book to look back on . I may just make our journal ours. I'm still deciding.

Well......We did it!

We made it through another amazing year.

We did the whole thing. Pots and pans.

(Should I be surprised that they easily made it to midnight? They don't even look tired. I think Christian and I are getting old because we barely made it.)

Fireworks.

And a toast to the new year with sparkling apple cider.

It was fun to be outside and hear other neighbors banging pots and pans too and lighting fireworks. I'm glad we're not the only "festive" ones :).

Happy New Year!!!!!!
I hope you do what you want/should and be what you want/should.

New Years Eve

It's New Year's Eve and guess what we did?

You guessed it. We went sledding as a family.

And tonight..... we (Me, Christian, and the 6 youngest) will light off some fireworks, bang some pots and pans, and toast (sparkling apple cider) to the New Year while the two oldest dance the night away at the New Years church dance.

Happy New Year !

(What are some of your New Years goals? I'll share some of mine next time)

Jenson is a great artist. He got a fun art/drawing kit for Christmas.

Gavon the cowboy

Joe the builder.

We hope you all had a fun Christmas and were able to make memories.

Playing in the snow in Tible Fork

Madison made each of the younger boys masks. They loved them.

Gavon

Snow family built by Landon and Maron Wray

Our Traditional Gingerbread

House

Landon had a violin Christmas concert early on in December. We were able to go as a family and really enjoyed the Christmas music. Landon told us he had a solo and we waited and waited and saved camera space. The concert came and went and there was no solo. Later he told us that some of his friends just played along with him. They did a great job.